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Plano Whole Life Counseling

Licensed Psychologist and Therapists in Plano, Texas

Couples Counseling: Male or Female Counselor?

November 6, 2018 by James Robbins, M.A., LPC

When couples are considering counseling, they want the most effective counselor for their particular situation. Couples often ask whether they should see a male or female couples counselor. There is no general rule of thumb about the efficacy of a male v. female couples therapist. However, one tip may help you choose the best counselor for your unique circumstance.

Picking the Right Counselor

Typically, one member of the couple is more enthusiastic about, or generally open to, couples counseling. The other member of the couple may have reservations about couples counseling or counseling in general. When choosing a couples counselor, it makes strategic sense to specifically consider the viewpoint of the more reluctant party. Suppose the male in the relationship is hesitant about couples counseling. He may prefer to work with a male therapist, feeling a female therapist might not fully appreciate his perspective. Or he may fear his female partner and the female therapist may “gang up” on him. At the same time, the opposite may also be true. Couples counseling usually involves frank discussions about the couples’ sex life. Some males feel more comfortable discussing their sexual issues with a female therapist, whereas others may feel more comfortable with a male therapist. The key is discussing this issue with your partner before making an appointment. If the more reluctant party prefers–for whatever reason–to work with a male or female counselor, this is usually the best place to start.

Gender Influence

A good couples counselor does not take sides. He or she should remain objective, not getting distracted by his or her gender perspective. It’s usually more about the overall quality, style and approach of the therapist than it is his or her gender. That said, sometimes the only way to know if a counselor is a good fit is to meet with that counselor. It’s perfectly appropriate to bring up the issue of male v. female counselor in the first session. After hearing about your situation, your therapist may be able to recommend whether it would be best for you to continue your work with a male or female counselor. And during your work with a counselor, if you or your partner feel that this person is not a good fit for whatever reason, you can simply change directions and pick up with a new therapist. At  Whole Life Counseling, we are happy to initially match you with a male or female counselor if you have a preference. But after you meet with this counselor, if he/she doesn’t seem like the best fit, we are happy to match you with a therapist of the opposite gender.

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Filed Under: Articles, Blog, Common Issues, Couples Counseling, Education, Newsletter, Relationship Tagged With: counseling, counselor, couples counseling, male female counselor, therapist

About James Robbins, M.A., LPC

James Robbins is a licensed professional counselor, published author and co-owner of Dallas Whole Life Counseling. He has over 15 years of experience helping people in various life stages that come from a wide variety of cultural, economic and family backgrounds. Learn more about his background by clicking here.

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Plano Whole Life Counseling
Legacy Place II
5700 Tennyson Parkway, Suite 300
Plano, TX 75024
(469) 609-7831

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What’s the difference between feeling alone and loneliness? Alone is a physical sense of nobody being around. Loneliness is a much deeper, emotional feeling that stems from lack of connections to others. It’s important to determine the difference because one could feel lonely even in a crowded room. Loneliness could also result in negative emotions… CONTINUE


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